Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.

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(081): View more from

KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!

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(909): View more from California

We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?

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(903): View more from Texas

I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.

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