I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
