let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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