The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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