I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
