What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need a beard to bite.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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