so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
