I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
