Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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