this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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