when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
