you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
