I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
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He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize