I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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