doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
