Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
