mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
