what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
