I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize