I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
