I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
