Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
