I'm really into asian looking animals
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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