I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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