So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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