I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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