i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
