Duck Duck Cougar?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
