Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
