There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
