I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
