He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize