youre lurking in front of me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
