Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
