I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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