She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
