she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
