I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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