She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
