Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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