good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
