yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
