Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
