Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
