oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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