me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
