I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Everyone says I win the strip club
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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