so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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