all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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