I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
