I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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