I want to have your abortion
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
