So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize