Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
