pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
