My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
