You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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