i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Randomize
