Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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