we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
