you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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