How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
