I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
