I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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