Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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