I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
